Kekoa my fighter!!

This little man of mine has been such a blessing to me I never thought in mine life I would have a baby with so many health problems  I mean when he was born he slept a lot and I could never really get him to eat but I thought well he's a newborn who came three weeks early and well to be quite honest I was in heaven I thought wow this is the easiest baby ever and he just loves to sleep!!  When he was four weeks old I still had problems getting him to eat and then when he would eat it was like some one literally turned on a faucet puke all day long every where had to change bed sheets clothes multiple times a day!! I thought ok is there something wrong and then I told my self no he just hasn't figured out the whole eating processes , well then his poppies diapers were nothing like I had ever seen a normal breast feed baby poop it was dark and watery and he would scream too get it out and finally after he tooted it would come, and then he would have these random screaming episodes that scared me he would scream bloody murder clench his fists throw his head back  and it would go on for hours and then noticed his stomach was abnormal looking and I kept telling my self your being paranoid but I could not seem to shake the feelings that I had deep inside there was something so wrong with my baby!! I told my pediatrician and he said oh he probably just has reflux  and I thought to myself wait a minute I've had reflux and its not like that but they gave me medicine and off I went we'll nothing changed just got worse! So I took him to summerlin er they tried to tell me it was reflux they ran some tests everything seemed normal my pediatrician sent me to a gastro who told me it was something I was eating so I stopped eating soy, dairy, eggs, wheAt, and peanut butter! It was not the answer I was looking for but I tried it knowing deep down inside it wouldn't work.. I felt so helpless no one would listen to me, I was just the crazy paranoid mother I did not know what to do or where to  turn I began thinking maybe it is inside my head, I had prayed so hard and I just kept feeling like Heavenly Father please please don't forget me all I wanted was to have this baby be healthy and get to do all those things you do with newborns cuddle with them  and show them off and enjoy them, and I couldn't help but feel like maybe he was given to the wrong mom because I was so
frustratedwith all the crying and no matter what I did for him it wouldn't stop, I'm his mother I'm suppose to comfort him love him and make him feel better  and I couldn't do any of that, and then I was torn because I wanted my little girl to have the attention she needed and it just wasn't working I was so depressed with my situation and myself. I got on my knees and prayed the longest I've ever prayed asking heavenly to tell me what to do and that if it was his will that no matter what happened I would be stronger enough to deal with the outcome! That next day I thought I'll make an apt with this other pediatrician I have seen before and I wrote everything he did down and video tapped his screaming episodes I was so desperate for help! I took him to dr ky who I had seen before and loved and I thought well if he says nothing Is wrong then that's my answer! Dr ky admitted my son to the hospital and called a different gi doc because I did not like his previous one and he assured me they would find something!! I was so excited I know that sounds awful but it was an answer to prayers knowing I wasn't crazy! They had to start an IV which was terrifying for me seeing my three month old baby scream in pain and all I could think why us why my baby, babies should not have to go through this its not fair!! Being there made me grateful for my situation  it was a very humbling experience The Lord brought me to my knees thanking him for the trials I had been given ! After two long weeks  there they discovered his colon was distended and his rectum whole was not opening for him to poop which he was being tested for hirschsprung disease but of course it was out ruled but the nurses told me to have it checked again because its very hard to diagnosis and then they found out he had delayed gastric emptying which means his stomach takes about three to four hours just to digest one little meal, so instead of being happy I just felt like that was not it and I couldn't decide if I was making myself feel like it should have been something more serious or if it was not what I wanted to hear. I suddenly felt so upset with myself thinking you should be grateful they found something but why did I keep hearing this voice telling me Carlie this is going to be a very long hard process but you can do this. They sent us home with medicine that was suppose to help the muscles move faster so he could digest things quicker! Then it hit he got bronchitis and things became worse the medicine they gave me seemed to make him cry more and I decided I would take him to salt lake thinking they would cure him if anyone could help me it would be them, we'll long story short they didn't find
anything they told us it could take him growing for all the problems to arise or maybe he would grow
out of it. Walking out those doors I had never felt such defeat in my life so helpless I knew something was wrong with my baby and I felt so strongly he would not grow out of this and I wanted to
seriously hurt the next person that said that to me I felt like how would you know are you with him every day do you go through what I do, do you watch him cry in agonizing pain looking at you like why can't you help me mommy no you don't he make look healthy on the outside but he's not looks aren't always what they seem ppl  I know you think your helping by saying those things but you aren't  your not living this, as I wept feeling so angry with my father in heaven not understandings why no one would help me I was humbled by my amazing husband  realizing this is a trial of faith and I must never give up, I went to my knees feeling so ashamed how was I was quick to point the finger at the person who sees the bigger picture who has felt everything I was feeling  and I was so quick to throw in the towel that was satin weighing on me I learned a lot about myself that day and the person I want to become. Well nothing was getting better just worse they found out he needed to go see a urologist he had two hydro seals a hernia and a twisted urninary track all in his little boy parts, and then it was back to the gastro  he told me he was referring my son to a dr in la who was a motilitybspecialist he said she can help you well finally the insurance approved and it could not come fast enough he then got RSv and was hospitalized again I was nervous and scared and was given a priesthood blessing that things would be alright. We drove to la I was so nervous I didn't know what to expect or what to say and I had these feelings the whole time that I needed to be prepared that this my be a chronic problem. As we went to the appointment everything that could go wrong did had to call the insurance And have them call to let them know every thing was covered, as I met dr punatti I was amazed at how amazing she truly was she sat at her computer typing everything I said about what was going on she then explained to me he had so many problems she would work on one at a time she told me there is a very good chance this could be a life problem normally I would have had a melt down but I was prepared for that by the spirit and at that moment I knew The Lord has been with me every step preparing me for what's to come. I got home and started him I his prune juice and mirilax to see if it would help and well things got worse he got so so very sick lathergic ae fever of 104 that I could not bring down he had diherr a  wouldn't eat we took him to the er twice they said oh it's just the stomach flu and I yelled at them telling them they were wrong and I kept feeling like The Lord was telling me Carlie he is a gift to you from me and whatever happens know that it will be ok I thought I was going to loose my baby I couldn't handle this idea I knew it would be I'm but I was not ready for that and I didn't know if I had the strength to let him go finally he was admitted and they found out his had rotavirus and c diff which is and adult infection they have never seen babies get, we'll then came the white poop and then they found out his right kidney is mal rotated  and will most likely twist and his left kidney is full of fluid. I am grateful they are finding things this little boy is strong he got his blood drawn  and didn't cry!! I got a phone call yesterday from his pediatrician letting me know his iga is completely abnormal and now he has to see an immunologist I had no clue what iga was until I read about it it's and autoimmune disease that affects the kidneys And other things I'm sure I will find out more its a chronic disorder and its seperate from the other problems, I couldn't help but think Carlie you will raise him just like any other child you will love him and encourage him to be the best he can be, by not letting him use his health as a excuse , it's hard and scary but I know I have to be strong for him so he can be strong. People often Ask me so your done having kids and I say heck no I will have As many kids as The Lord sees fit yes this little boy will be hard but he has taught me so much so fAr even about my self I have stepped out of my comfort zone and had to become an actual adult but I would trade this for the world it has made me realize wha is important in life and its not about money or whos the best at what and who is the skinniest it's about living life to the fullest enjoying every moment! I love being a mom you greatest blessing and I finally feel like I'm getting good at it and its all about forgetting about your wants and needs to sacrifice for your kids and balance in our life to much of anything isn't good I know but I'm so grateful for my trials and I'm grateful The Lord saw fit to send this sweet boy to me and I know in heaven The Lord told him what it was going to be like and koa said I can do it Heavenly Father I love my life and will be heading to la next week!

KeKoa Jame Noa

KeKoa James Noa was born October 10, 2012 at 7:23 p.m. and was 17 inches long. He was born three weeks early, it was kind of a scary experience. I was seeing the dr twice a week because I had high fluids and so I went in for my usual check up when he checked to see how far I was dilated he looked at me and said you are at a 4 in a half and 90% thinned out and then he said you are going to have this baby tomorrow which honestly being a bed rest for two months I should of been super excited but I was really nervous cause I could tell he was keeping something from me. So I asked what time I should be at the hospital the next day and they said we will call you tomorrow. So I called Josh and he couldn't believe what was happening and of course I started crying I just wasn't sure I was ready for this just barely got use to having one and actually feeling like I was a mom and some what good at being a mom and now I have to start all over again. Well I waited all morning to hear back from them and they never called so I sent Josh to work thinking I probably wouldnt go in until late at night. Well I decided to take Jayla to the park, as we get to the park I get a phone call from Dr Paul's nurse and she said that they are super busy at the hospital but I needed to have my baby that day so he wanted me to go to the labor and delivery room and fake like I was going into labor and then he would make sure I had my baby, and well of course I asked if she was serious and she laughed and said yes. So I called Josh he turned around and came home and we waited an hour for my mom to drive in so she could watch Jayla.  Well as we drove up to the hospital Josh and I talked about how we are going to make this look real ha ha , I was going to breath really heavenly and barely talk and he would tell them he thought his wife was going into labor it was quite funny!  Well they of course knew me at the hospital ha ha they hooked up to the monitor turns out I was really having bad contractions but I couldn't feel them which was funny, then dr paul was there came in and checked me and told the nurse to get me a room cause I was going to have my baby today because the baby was floating in my stomach and they were afraid  the umbilical cord was going to come through the cervix thats why he wanted me in there so bad well then I of course was freaking out inside but I knew Dr paul would not let anything happen to my baby. So they got my room ready and Dr Paul said we are going to break her water as soon as she gets in the room and well they of course prepared for a flood ha ha, but when dr paul broke my water nothing came out and then he had another dr come over to my stomach and hold the baby in position while they ran there hand down my stomach to push the water out, and lets just say it was a very brutal delivery cause my poor baby  would not come down the birth canal I wont go into detail its to graphic but  I was trying really hard not to get an epideral, I just would like to see if it feels better without drugs but I did end up getting it when I was at an 8 1/2 and that hurt cause the guy stuck me in the wrong place and had to retry which was scary but Im alive ha ha.  The dr came in a little bit after that and  told me I had to push because his heart rate was dropping so fast so as I pushed he physically stretched my cervix more and Yes I was screaming Josh said I have never heard Carlie ever scream like that! I tore really bad but he finally came and I started crying because they could not get him to breath and after the longest two minutes of my life he let out a lil tiny cry. I cant express to my heavenly father enough how grateful I am to be a mother and to take care of his sweet little children!  It has been hard because this poor lilttle boy has had so many health problems but he is getting stronger everyday and his big sister loves his to pieces I love watching her interact with him our family is growing and Josh and I have never been Happier!

                                Im so grateful to have such an amazing Dr, thank you for everything!

                                          Words cant describe how in love I am with this little boy! I love being a mom it may be hard and I may never have time to get ready or do alot of things but I wouldn't have it any other way!

Well Here is pictures from the Summer so sad that I have not been updating this its hard when you get a little toddler who is walking now and getting into everything ha ha. It is so fun watching her learn new things she is just my little pride and Joy, we cant wait to see how she is when her little brother KeKoa gets here! Well where do I begin alot has happened in the last three months! We went to Boston those are the pictures at the beginning. We stay with my Uncle Anthony and Rick We had a blast!! We left Jayla with my mom for the week that was hard on me and of course on Josh I remember when we were heading back home he said I really miss Jay it made my heart melt! OH Boston was amazing, from the food, to the shopping, and then scenery so much to do and see wish we could have stayed longer. Josh Had lobster for the first time and I tried some too it was amazing, I was surprised I even liked it. We went to the Yankee Stadium and watched them play Tampa Bay Rays which was sad cause I hate the Yankees and they of course won ha ha, then we went to the Mets stadium and they played the Cardinals that was an amazing stadium and it was a fun game to watch. We rode the subway over to the stadium which I must say I am not a city girl and not a huge fan of subways they scare me ha ha. Our first day in New York Josh and I were trying to figure out the subway system or shall I say Josh was trying to figure it out and well I just followed but not fast enough because I got my leg caught in the subway door trying to catch up to my husband before he left me on the subway by myself and well being pregnant did not help those dumb emotions I laugh about it now but at the time I was freaking out and crying ha ha you could only imagine and walking everywhere kicked my butt ha ha.. We saw  the statue of Liberty that was an amazing feel along with the 9/11 site what an eye opener I could not control my emotions you could feel the spirit so strong there and you just knew that it was sacred ground! Also the highlight of my week Finneway Park!!! Thee best of best baseball stadiums ever created I was in heaven Rick got us tickets to there batting practice and we got to touch the field, what an awesome feeling to bad we couldn't have gone when they were good lol I still love me some Red Sox's and we had to have one of there hot dogs which I have to say I enjoyed every bite and I do not like hot dogs maybe that was a pregnancy thing ha ha. It was kind of funny cause the Celtics were in the playoffs playing Our Favorite basketball team the MIAMI HEAT BABY LOVE LABRON JAMES!!! But every one had shirts  on that said something about hating him ha ha it was a good thing we didn't wear our Miami shirts or we would have gotten beat up! The weather was rainy and over cast and of course I only brought one pair of jeans and one pair of closed shoes and a light sweater needless to say I was freezing cold ha ha. It was so green though I loved that and the sea food was so great, so fresh! It was a great experience and lets just say Rick is the best cook ever, and he makes the best bread to bad I couldn't take him home with me! We got home and the time change totally threw me off for the first couple days. Then our sweet little baby girl turned one!!!! I could not believe  how fast the time flies, it seems just like yesterday the lord placed her in our home and Josh and I have never been happier! She loves loves the water, we have fun taking her swimming.. She loves to splash and try and push off to swim by her self which scares me so much!  We had her birthday at the Butterfly park with all her cousin's, Josh made water balloons for the kids to play with it was so cute, they all chased him and tried to drop them on him while Jayla just wanted to put it in her mouth go figure! We  also took her to see the movie Brave before the BBQ, lets just say we didn't watch very much of it cause we were busy chasing her around, although it may have seemed we wasted our money but I loved it cause she was just so happy and fun to watch. Jayla's papa made his awesome Hawaiian chicken and my mom made the cutest Finding Nemo cake and well Jayla loved it, she could not wait to put her hands in it and that she did the frosting was everywhere! I think she was more interested in the cake then she was her birthday presents! Her cousin's Kels and May sure had fun opening her presents they were so excited it was fun to watch! My wonderful friend/client Margie got her a little bike so cute, Josh put it together and her face just lit up especially when it makes music! Then it was my birthday and Josh gave me the best gift, he got a job working for an online high school in henderson and so,....... we got a condo to rent which he love love we do miss nana and papa but we are excited to be our own little family living in our own little home and Jayla has her own room which she loves. Josh and I find her in her room reading her books on the floor. I can truly say the lord has blessed my family in so many ways, I cant  describe how blessed and grateful we are. I just know he always steps in when he needs to and no matter how hard times get there is always something positive in our lives! I love life and I am so grateful for my brothers who are serving missions I could not be prouder of them ! I love the lord and am grateful for my life and the amazing people in it!

Spring is Here and we are so so HAPPY!

Well obviously I have been awful at posting  but we do have some very exciting news  Jayla will be a big sister in Oct. we will find out what we are having in June we are so so excited and cant wait for the new addition to our family! Jayla has gotten so big at her nine month apt she weighed 20 pounds and is 23 inches long she will be a shorty like her mommy. She is wanting to walk so very  bad its  so cute she will crawl to any where she can find to pull her self up, and it kind of scares me cause she is a little dare devil! She seems to think she should be able to walk and when she finds out she cant quite yet she cries! She has not really been interested in TV then only things she will watch is Mickey Mouse club house just for the first 15 minutes but Josh and I have memorized the movie Finding Nemo, She love love loves this movie she will sit and watch the entire thing and if you get in her way she gets mad. It is so funny cause she gets into the movie when the sharks are chasing dori she starts crying and then  when they get away she claps her hands it is the funniest thing ever because that is the only thing that she will actually sit still and watch and she could watch it all day long I swear, I tried to introduce her to new movies and she just wont watch them. I just know this girl is going to be obsessed with water and anything to do with water. If she is crying and I cant get her to calm down I turn on the faucet and she stops ha ha.

Well we have been on some fun trips, Nana,Jayla and I went to Utah for Auntie Juelaines Birthday. We had fun went shopping at the mall and well Jayla got to try lots of yummy treats cause well this girl I have yet to find something she wont eat ha ha. I was also impressed that she did so good in the car ride but did I mention we had a portable dvd player I think that helped!
Then my poor little girl was sick and Im sure all of you moms know how nasty it is to have your child throw up like a waterfall on you, yes that has happened to me many times and Im sure I still have more to come ha ha. But its awful when your kids are sick cause you want to take it away so bad and you really cant. That makes me think of our father in heaven and how hard it must be for him to see us go through times that are so hard and it makes me have so much more appreciation for my savior and all that he has gone through and is going through for us every day.

This picture makes my heart melt, after this poor baby had a long day of throwing up , she just wanted to snuggle with her daddy, these two are so much a like I just love it!
Speaking of which her daddy is just her hero, I can tell how much she loves him... When ever she see's him her face lights up and I just love it! Well it was Josh's Birthday April 5th and hes getting old the big 26 ha ha! We got him an iphone 4s for his Birthday gift and then we went to Hash House a go go wow those plates are so huge and it was a really fun restaurant!

 Jayla loves her cousin Jace and what do you know they made the same Facial Expression!

Then we spent Easter in Logandale with all the Waite and Holmstead cousin's!. It was so fun we went out early and Jayla had her first four wheeler ride with her daddy and it was so funny cause she fell right asleep on it! My mom had a bbq at the baseball fields with the Houston's,then they had put together some fun games and an Easter egg hunt for the kids. We did an adult egg toss and of course the eggs weren't hard boiled and Josh and I lost cause I dont have soft hands ha ha. Then Easter Sunday we  all had dinner at my Aunt Dawn's and the whole Waite clan was there it was so fun to see everyone.

 Sleepy girl!

 The three legged race, Josh and Tason were partners I think josh cheated though ha ha

Grandma and Grandpa Waite!

The Waite Family!

Jayla and her cousin Jace and bath time together ha ha. They were so cute cause Jace was like what is she doing in here with me, like it was his bath tub and she was invading. Then Jayla just wanted to swim every where and take Jaces toys poor Jace I dont think he liked that ha ha.

THE FAIR!

Jayla loved the Fair, especially the food! I had gotten terriaki Chicken on a stick and she picked it up with both hands and was tearing it off with her two front teeth it was the funniest thing ever, and then grandpa gave her some funnel cake she was in heaven. We took her to the small animal barn and she loved seeing all the little animals. When we showed her the duck in the cage she stuck her whole hand in there wanting to grab the duck, and I was just worried it would bite her! She loves her grandma and grandpa and it was fun to see all the expressions on her face, she is very observant! We would also like to congratulatte my little brother Zach for getting his mission Call to Scotland Ireland!